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Betrayal Trauma, Divorce, Helpful Resources, Life Coach

A Panel Of Experts

January 24, 2023

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Our Parallel Paths

“GRACE Where You Are”

About Me

I am a speaker and Life Coach specializing in betrayal trauma, infidelity, self worth, divorce and dating. I can help you find hope in healing.

Marni Bown

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I believe in god

I Believe In God

Welcoming 2025 I want to reintroduce myself.

I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world and was married to my best friend. It was shortly after our 21st wedding anniversary that I had my first big discovery day.

In that moment my life changed forever and I realized my husband had been living a double life. Pulling on that string was just the beginning of many more discoveries to come involving his addictions.

I looked everywhere I could think for help trying to get answers while remaining confidential about our situation as well. I was in a fight for my marriage while barely surviving each day as I questioned everything about my life.

Finally I was introduced to the term betrayal trauma and my healing journey began. I had clarity and an understanding of what was going on with the knowledge that I wasn’t alone.

Because of my appreciation for all those that helped me, I got certified as a Life Coach to give hope to someone else new to betrayal trauma. I love being a mentor for both married and divorced people.

I trust with hard work a marriage can survive these circumstances. But, after a lot of clarification and prayers, I knew it was time for our marriage to come to an end. I never believed that God would give me the answer that divorce was the right choice for me. Eventually I knew the best way moving forward was to turn him over to God to get the help he required and the safety I needed.

I graduated from the University of Utah in 2000 with a BFA degree in Modern Dance. I was a single mom of 4 very busy boys for 3 years before marrying my favorite person that was built just for me. Together we have blended 9 children and we also gained two beautiful daughter-in-laws making us a bakers dozen.

I enjoy my family, traveling, dancing, exercising, sports, reading, spending time outdoors, playing tennis and getting lunch with friends.

I am passionate about supporting, educating and empowering individuals on how to survive betrayal trauma. My goal is to instill hope and faith in healing.

Schedule a free 20 minute appointment through the link in my bio. I would love to hear your story and see if I can help. You are worth it! 🦋

#lifecoach #betrayaltrauma

My ongoing personal goal is to celebrate that I am “broken and beautiful.”

I know that in my trauma there is two layers. First, the initial discovery and what came with that shattered life.

Then came the new reality of how I saw life and the rebuilding with trusting myself again.

The infidelity, constant lies, financial devastation, recognition of the many forms of abuse and deceit that led to divorce was certainly a contributor to my betrayal trauma. But not as much as the embracing my new lens I am now forced to see life through.

I know it is not my responsibility to shield him from the consequences of his choices. I know that when he hurts I am his target to take it out on because I am one of the few that hold him accountable. I know that I can’t put out his fires he sets to justify his behaviors. I know that when he blames me for things it is not mine to accept. I know that those that really know me also know the truth.

I also know that I have slowly rebuilt myself back together and in that process I have gained empathy, strength, determination, knowledge, confidence and a love for myself that I never knew was possible. I confirmed my role as a mom and learned to accept and listen to my emotions and my body.

I love that the pains attached to my Christmas D-day feel so far away. The days have been replaced with many more amazing memories with Mark and what we are building with our beautiful family.

I know that my wounds are deep and that my healing process may be a lifetime. I know that there are a lot of suppressed memories that surface in doses that I have to process seeing them with the angle I have now.

I know that being broken only names that I am reviving but I am not defeated. I want to be more patient with myself in my process of rebirth and instead acknowledge that it is painstakingly beautiful.

What do you do to be patient with yourself in your healing process?

I love the song “Broken and Beautiful” by Calee Reed. The video and words speak to my soul.

Watch it here:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ouvnQNB75_U

#rebirth #hope #healing #newyears #goals #brokenandbeautiful #betrayaltrauma #divorce #remarriage #dday #selfworth #love

My December Book Club recommendation is “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. I was recommended this book from a dear friend of mine that I admire so much. I have reread it and I refer it to clients often.

This book can be extremely triggering when you have someone in your life that made or makes continuous “bad choices” in decisive moments that lead to a destructive future self. While reading it was hard for me to not feel hurt knowing all the many choices my ex made over time to shape the life and person he is and has become that affected my family and me. But I also know everyone has free agency in life. And I still have a choice how I want to live and what or who I choose everyday. I also know it’s not my job to shield him from the consequences of his choices or to take responsibility for what he blames me but I know is not mine.

Once I proactively decided to put him on a shelf and focus solely on myself, I saw clearly what habits and choices I have made and continue to pick that make me who I am. I am definitely not perfect but I am very proud looking back at the consistency of who I have chosen to be and what I have fought for every day of my life. I love that has lead me to where I get to be now.

I love how this book talks about the importance of self discipline and changing our mindset of especially how we talk about and see ourselves. In helping others, self discipline is one of the most important principles we work on. Self control is the spring board and motivator in creating s keeping god habits.

I love the story of the British Cycling and how making small minute changes everyday completely changed the trajectory and outcome for for the team that made history. It is motivational and inspirational.

What tiny habits can you make on a daily basis that with frequency and consistency can change the course of your future self?

#atomichabits #selflove #selfcare #selfdiscipline #selfcontrol #progress #goals #goodhabits #divorce #healthydopamine #choices #freeagency #discipline #positvethinking #positivethoughts #motivation #inspiration #divorce #remarriage #betrayaltruama

I am that girl that was not looking to get remarried. I was not shy about sharing this either.

In my first marriage I slowly died inside and I lost myself in the process. Going through my divorce with all the new information pushed me to my limits of feeling like it was almost too much to take and I might not make it out alive.

Instead I made it out loving life more than ever before. My discoveries led me down a healing journey of regaining trust in myself and remembering who I am.

I got to the point of loving my new life and the realization that living like a single mom while married had its benefits. I didn’t need anyone at all.

Then I met Mark and everything changed. He didn’t need anyone either because he had been living a life similar to mine. But we enhanced each other and it made everything better. We are so similar in what we value, love and how we live. It’s like we were built for eachother.

I love that he checks boxes I didn’t even know were an option. He has consistently lived in a way that for someone that struggles with trust gives me so much confidence.

I love that he is patient, kind, and fun. I love how much we dance and laugh. I love that he gets my betrayal trauma because he’s been there too. I love how we live out our dreams everyday.

I love that I know God loves us because he gave mutual friends and family the inspiration to help push us into finding each other at the right time. I love that all hope is restored and the vulnerability to love again is worth it.

I love that I value him so much more because I know what it means for him to choose and be each day. I love we appreciate the small and simple things because we know what it’s like without. We love having a real partner and that we prioritize each other and our family.

We would go through what we did again a million times to get us where we are today. Divorce was not a failure or a dead end but a spring board to a life better than we could have ever imagined. We are more true to who we are because we aren’t compromising in unhealthy ways to be a partner.

What blessings has divorce brought you?

#divorce #betrayaltrauma #infidelity #hope #healing #remarriage

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