Honestly, it is so so sad and devastating to the core when you have been making decisions and behaving in a certain way based on believing what the person you are with has told you and you later find out the truth. In that information your life is no longer what you thought and there is betrayal, embarrassment and anger.

The safety seeking to try and make sense of the timelines with the new information is consuming and all around exhausting. The emotions ebb and flow between crying from the most wounded parts of your heart with an incapacity to function to numbness, masking, defense and protection.

The way that you see the person that you agreed to marry under a belief different than what is real is soul crushing. It affects your ability to function in all the roles important to you and especially as a mother. Your own self judgement is also shattered and you wonder why you didn’t know or why you believed them when you felt it differently.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but I am SO sorry. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. The confusion of looking into the face of a person you love and knowing you should be able to trust them but can’t is so excruciatingly awful. It can feel so lonely as the person that is hurting you is a person that is supposed to protect you and you feel the need to protect them. It’s as if their lies become yours and you have to put on a brave face and pretend. All while sorting through the pieces alone because nobody can really know. Especially if you choose to work it out!

Don’t be afraid to set yourself some boundaries to keep you safe. Forgiveness is a process. Often we grant forgiveness too soon.

Again, I am so sorry for the pain you are in. It’s not fair. You didn’t deserve this. This is not your fault and it is absolutely not okay. You are not alone and I have absolutely been there before.

Huge hugs to you! 🤗🫶🏼

#betrayaltrauma#divorce#lying#integrity#ptsd#ptsdsymptoms#honesty#trauma#healing#hope#marriage#family#abuse#reactiveabuse