Book Club: "What Can I Do About Me?"

BOOK CLUB: “What Can I Do About Me?” By Rhyll Anne Croshaw.

This was recommended to me after I attended my first SA Lifeline 12 Step program for spouses to addicts. I will admit this can be extremely triggering for those, like me, that didn’t have an addicted spouse that was willing to try to recover. With the precaution I still love all the validation and insight it provides to feelings through whatever process you encountered no matter how large or small.

It touches on not feeling alone in your story and the importance of setting healthy boundaries for yourself. Also, how forgiveness is not the same as trust and how we can always trust in God. I love how she discusses the importance of having gratitude in the present moment and the importance of self-care and His care. I love how this empowers me to “row my own boat” and live happily one day at a time. She shares the importance of truth including with your children and that “A family is only as sick as its darkest secret.” It can be difficult as we now understand there is so much shame connected to this behavior.

I know several couples that have worked with their spouses addiction and come out stronger. There are amazing programs like the 12 step program at S.A. Lifeline. I have a dear friend that with her spouse in recovery shares their story to help encourage others through the process. I have another friend that attended one of their talks but hearing the fight the spouse was willing to make triggered her because the feelings of sadness were too overwhelming knowing her husband had not been willing to do the same. Luckily a therapist grabbed her on her way out and explained how tricky this situation is for both sides. Those that didn’t have a spouse that’s willing to fight hurt because they don’t feel they were enough for them to try. On the other hand, those that are in those meetings working hard everyday on their marriage with their addicted spouse also have days where they wish their spouse would also just walk away. Both sad but proof the effects this addiction has on their loved ones.

Do you know someone that could use these resources? Even understanding what someone you love is going through can help offer them a stronger support base.