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- 1:1 Private Coaching
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My Story
Contact Me
Blog Posts

D-Day

14Aug

SHATTERING

SHATTERING: in Abandonment Grief. This word is so fitting because when I found his work

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About Me

I am a speaker and Life Coach specializing in betrayal trauma, infidelity, self worth, divorce and dating. I can help you find hope in healing.

Marni Bown

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It’s FLYday!

Sign up to receive a healing suggestion on a Friday to get you through the weekend with the reminder to First Love Yourself!

I believe in god

I Believe In God

In the early confusing times I spoke with a dear friend with a similar story that was years ahead of me for advice. Part of our conversation stuck with me because she told me that although it was the most devastating time in her life she had also never felt God closer. I could barely feel at the time and I could not even comprehend relating to her experience.

Now with time and perspective I wholeheartedly agree. I love my relationship I have with God. It is God that I turned to in my heavy trauma to feel understood, to alleviate the pain or relearn trust. It is God that helped give me enough energy and focus to complete the basic needs especially in my responsibilities as a mom.

God turned the betrayals of his free agency and allowed me the opportunity to choose to walk away from my marriage to live a life I didn’t know could exist but He did. I am still blessed despite the consequences of his choices.

Because of the dark times I have deliberately sought after the light and can feel it warmer than before. I value love, trust, safety, honesty, hard work, partnership, communication, patience, laughter, choice, emotions, affection, relationships, family, friends, therapy, self care, blessings and my true self more than ever before.

It is God that has prepared a way for me to help others and have the courage to do so. Although I am still healing and understand it will be a lifelong process, I have never felt so much immediate inspiration while supporting and sharing. I have extra gratitude for God allowing us to be there for each other in His name. I know He still is there for me through others.

I hope we can use our prayers and service as a way to help bless those that need it most. May we be inspired how we can “bring joy to the sorrowful.”

Thank you for those that have ever prayed for my family or me. Thank you for those that listened and acted on promptings that were answers to my silent prayers. Thank you to the empathy and advice provided as we all travel through rocky times. Thank you for all the love and support in this journey we all are navigating with optimism and hope.

How have you seen God in your life?

#healing #hope #betryaltrauma #god

Have you ever craved being able to just blend back in to your daily life?

After the truth came out publicly I was mortified and relieved.

I was so ashamed and embarrassed he had chosen what he did but I appreciated people finding out without me having to say over and over again what really was happening. Because of that we started to receive service accompanied with feeling love and strength from others prayers.

On the flip side I would also get the sad looks and head tilted stares when I would go out. I knew people didn’t know what to say yet I appreciated anytime someone would say anything or say nothing accompanied with a hug.

At times there was no control in the questions and places I would get asked them. I really had to learn to set firm boundaries fast about how much I shared with who, when and where. I quickly learned to recognize those that really were concerned and those that just wanted to be in on the information.

In time I noticed I had more strength personally because I had been connected to those that knew what betrayal trauma was because they had been there too. They became my circle I felt safe sharing my details and I knew they also understood.

Do you need someone in your circle that understands when you feel like nobody else does?

I would love to hear your story because I get it. I have been there before.

Click on the link to schedule a free 20 minute Zoom call to make an appointment.

https://marni-coaching.youcanbook.me/

You are not alone!

#healing #addiction #betrayaltrauma #divorce #betrayaltraumarecovery #healthylifestyle #emotionalabuse #infidelity #hope #hardwork #help #lifecoach #healfrombetrayal #healingjourney #hopeinhealing #selfhealing #selflove #healingpower #healingmyself #anxiety #ptsd #gaslighting #psychologicalabuse #trauma #narcissisticabuse #toxicrelationships #mentalhealth #boundaries #healingmindset #love

My February Book Club recommendation is “WE’RE NOT REALLY STRANGERS Self-Love Edition Card Game – A Journey to Self-Discovery and Empowerment for Couples, Adults, & Teens for Date & Game Nights.” It’s a card for Ages 15+, 1-2 Players.

There are several cards with questions prompting self reflection from the past, present and future.

Level 1 (Past): “When is a time you felt you needed to be tough?”

Level 2 (Present): “What’s one thing you like about being you?”

Level 3 (Future): “ What pattern do you want to break, even if you don’t know how yet?”

I love during the month we can find a way to love ourselves. Often we are so busy working hard on how to be whether where we feel we are failing, we forget to preferred and appreciate the places we are already doing well.

Happy Love Month! 💗

#selfcare #selfhelp #selfhealing #selflove #hope #healing #good #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumasurvivor#love

In the moment that this picture was captured I was taking in the sunny beauty and amazement of Gods creation in front of me. I closed my eyes for a short time and when I reopened them I felt I was unstable standing there with nothing to protect me and it literally took my breath away. I gasped for a split second at the thought of me not being safe standing on the ledge.

I have since been reflecting on my life following divorce and the newness of setting boundaries. I recognize the value of having them and love the freedoms I now feel from setting them. Some of my boundaries are outwardly expressed or seen and others are in my mind alone. It is when I started understanding how important boundaries are to protect myself that I really started a process to independently heal.

One of the first boundaries I knew I had to set was finding safety immediately. It is crazy to think how scary this first step was because I feared the possible repercussions and consequences. They definitely came but I was confident. I had not ever set a boundary in my marriage and rarely in my life before so it felt so uncomfortable at first. It didn’t take long to feel the peace, clarity and empowerment it quickly offered me.

Now I know that setting boundaries has been one of the most loving things I’ve done for myself when it’s done right. Boundaries can be flexible to fit the right situation. The key is holding strong to the boundaries created and following through with the consequences associated with it.

God does the same thing with me and for me. On a higher level there are Gods laws to abide and when we are obedient we are blessed. But even God has to stand by His laws and hold us accountable when we also break them.

I love Vicki Tidwell Palmer at BeyondBitchy.com and her resources in Mastering the Art of Setting Boundaries. She is “the creator of the 5-Step Boundary Solution process for identifying, creating, and maintaining effective personal and relationship boundaries.”

What new boundaries have you set in your life?

#beyondbitchy #boundaries #healthyboundaries #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltrauma #divorce #addiction #hiking #hope #healing

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