There are so many scary things about your first big D-day.

The reality that your life is no longer what you thought it was and now you see it through the lens of truth while still having a lot of questions left unanswered.

It is scary to admit to anyone the truth and especially to those that know you well enough to know something isn’t right. You feel like you are now the liar to protect the one that lied to you.

It is scary to share what is happening with anyone because there is shame and embarrassment attached. People say it isn’t personal but it feels VERY personal.

It is scary when you feel safe enough to share your experience and details of your situation and end with a vulnerability hangover to protect your partner that deceived you. This is just in case you are able to work things out you don’t want anyone protecting you in decisions that include working to stay.

It is scary that the very person that betrayed you is the only one you are able to go to seek comfort in your pain. There is so much betrayal trauma in this situation.

It is scary to think that divorce is a real and maybe the very best option. It is scary to think about the unfairness in money and custody. This is not how your life was ever meant to be.

I found that by replacing so many of my fears with real answers offered hope. I knew that even in the pain things could and would be better, I just didn’t know how. I recognize now that my D-day saved me. It was that and the many truths that surface with events that followed that gave me the courage to finally leave and get divorced. I has become on if my greatest tender mercies.

Divorce is scary, hard and there is so much fear attached to the unknown. You are not alone!

What is something in the process of your discovery that is now a blessing?

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