After he moved out I was in earshot of one of my kids talking with him on the phone. My son asked “How could you do this? Do you not love mom?”

My heart broke and I retreated to my room in tears because that was something I have NEVER doubted from my own dad.

While I was confused and crying he called my phone. I cleared my throat to sound normal and picked up. There he immediately started out wanting to make it clear that he would always love me but that he wasn’t in love with me.

I sat shocked with my mind racing. I asked myself several questions wondering if this was supposed to help me? Was this even an option or was it his choice? Are they different?

I had no words in return but I knew that my kids new reality was that you can love someone and they can choose to stop loving you back.

Like with trust my “love” bank account was reevaluated with everyone. I was confused at what LOVE was and how someone you built a life with for 22 years could just “fall out of love.”

The truth for me was that I loved him more than anyone or ever in my life. In a lot of ways I loved him more than myself and I constantly sacrificed for him. That love grew stronger with life’s journey as a couple and with our family that we had created together. I gave all that I had to him and trusted him with my good and bad because I also believed he loved me unconditionally and was doing the same. He said he loved me up until I found his phone and I believed him.

Since that moment I’ve been on a quest to understand what “love” means. I needed to know with my new lens of truth how I ever felt he loved me?

I know love is multifaceted and different depending on who it’s intended for. I know I love God and feel His love for me. I know I love my children always and this was an important truth when it all fell apart. I know that I love friends, family and SO many people. I know that I know how to love and feel love.

I know that love in a relationship requires constant deliberate focus and work. It requires vulnerability, honesty and trust. Brené Brown says it perfectly.

How do you define love?

#lovequotes #betrayaltrauma #trust #vulnerability #brenebrownquotes