Through the divorce process and early afterwards, the unfairness of everything seemed to exceed beyond my ability to comprehend.

I was reeling and discouraged inside feeling disposable like I had failed. Part of me accepting my forced new life came with anger, confusion, grief, bargaining, and invading sadness.

Yet his life seemed to be better than ever. Because we still shared credit cards, I could see his continued activity in my face and the amount of disrespect I felt that he couldn’t even wait until we were officially divorced felt cruel. My therapist quickly put in perspective for me that he had not honored our marriage in years. She challenged me asking, “why would you think he would consider you now?” I felt dumb for hoping and was constantly let down in his choices until I released thinking he was the person he once showed me and proclaimed to be.

I can’t say he ever really loved me and so the tether he felt of marriage being severed seemed so freeing. I was painfully devastated that the person I had fought for, loved the very most, and worked to build what I thought was an amazing life with was no longer tethered to me.

I know this is the experience of so many people that I talk to. Their need for you to move on and forgive when often this isn’t how you lived your life to end up divorced. It was a forced divorce. They had been thinking about and debating how moving on without you would look long before you even knew they were betraying you. Remember they can only betray you when you trust them. Entering into a marriage even in a social understanding is that you choose eachother always.

I am so sorry for what you have been through. You did NOT deserve any of this.

The good news is your story doesn’t end here. Now YOU get to choose! The steps to move forward may seem unfamiliar, scary and new but in progressing you now get to determine your out come in life. It takes courage, vulnerability, acceptance of yourself in mistakes, forgiving your past self and having bold dedication to you. I now know it’s way better than what I had ever imagined it could be.

I am thankful for the heavenly pushes that helped me finally jump in.

What blessings have come from you taking the leap post divorce?

#divorce#trauma