GRANT FORGIVENESS

The Third Element in the Four Fold Path is Granting Forgiveness. We choose to forgive and recognize we are all imperfect. In situations of such heavy betrayal this is quite the task.

I continue to receive injury and hurt and so I feel like my journey of forgiveness gets restarted over and over again. I try to remember he is sick and I know forgiveness is an ongoing process. I know I need to go through exploring the injury and hurt so I can feel empowered to find what I need to heal. I know that it is mandatory to feel the pain of the betrayal but sometimes it is more than my body and spirit can handle. I know I need to experience it so I can turn it over to Christ. I know that through the Atonement I can feel peace in forgiveness because Gods forgiveness is perfect. God and man forgive differently. When I work this out through God our relationship is strengthened and I am blessed. I know that in my situation that by forgiving does not mean that I need to restore the relationship with him. I know I need to forgive and I don’t want his choices to continue to impact my future. I want to be free from further injury even though it still keeps happening. Forgiveness is no longer seeking the justice and wanting them to be held accountable and instead finding the freedom in mercy to let God be God and let it go. We are commanded to forgive everyone and I know we are blessed when we do this. This is easier said than done and can take years. I am constantly working on it.

I have a dear friend that has had to endure years of forgiveness because of sexual abuse and betrayal from a family member. This has haunted her for decades and it wasn’t until she began to pray for this person that her burden began to be lightened and she felt the freedom and peace in letting go. This person that stole so much from her and has never said sorry. I admire her ability to dig deep and turn it over to God in order to feel His peace. Digging up suppressed memories and facing them is overwhelming! Mine are not very old and it is still so hard. I look at my kids and feel hurt for them too.

I am thankful for all those around me that love and support us. We are so blessed! When I doubt the goodness of men I am reminded how thankful I am for my dad, my brother and I am trying to raise good men. Part of the forgiveness is being willing to forgive myself that I didn’t know what was going on and that doesn’t mean God abandoned me. Instead I am working to be strengthened every day and know that I am a daughter of God and I am doing the best I can. There is good, better and best and sometimes my “good” is good enough.

I hope this can offer some hope to someone that is struggling with forgiving someone that has wronged and betrayed you. God is real and loves ALL of us.