Just after the discovery my youngest child would ask me “If you could go back in a time machine knowing what you know now, would you still marry dad?” My immediate answer was “Always and every time because that means I get my children and you are mine!”
I believed it but when the days are really dark and my head is down I have to gently remind myself to just look up and around me because it is my children that are the light at the end of the tunnel out of the darkness. When I feel overwhelmed at the truth of my life and what is to come it is my kids that keep me fighting to be strong.
My most tender memories are a teenage bear hug or a little arm around me brushing away my hair from my face as I cried. The sweet notes on my pillow or texts during the day reminding me I am doing a good job. My kids helping eachother by taking over family prayer, homework, meals and making sure they got to a 5:45 am practice at the school every morning so I could try and sleep.
They hold each other up and at times even hold me up too. I know they are also hurt, confused and distracted yet they did it and we are doing it every day!!! We are happy, changed and closer. We have evolved and are better than ever before. We laugh more and cry more but that’s what makes us stronger together.
I love this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
Some days this is easier said than done but I am genuinely thankful for what I have and for everyone in my life that has shown us love. I am who I am because of this and so are my kids. I wouldn’t want to take that away and that means I am thankful for the hurt. So THANK YOU for all your love and support and also being a source of light when times are dark. I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!