“Here I Bow”
This painting “Here I Bow” by Maria hangs in my office to look at often. To me it represents my promise to my Maker about the earthly life I agreed to live.
The biggest piece in my healing has been acknowledging the truth in my story. So many trying to heal are stuck because they are confused or forced to be silent in their truth because through society or religion we are asked to hide it to protect the offender.
I love that my therapist taught me that I am not responsible to shield him from the consequences of his choices. When he agreed to be in a relationship with me, his story also became mine. I still don’t know most of his story but I know why we are divorced and how to heal with my truth.
Every good story needs conflict and resolution. There are losses, gains, setbacks and comebacks. The characters have dreams, desires, love, hate, problems and passions. There are heroes and villains and we root for miracles, fairness and good to prevail.
In my story, each chapter provides twists and turns in ways I never predicted were possible. The innocence of hopes, dreams and the consequences from betrayal have taken me places I didn’t know existed.
I know that I made a promise to God that I would always choose and fight for Him despite what difficulty life would bring. With that He has given me tools to be prepared for the challenges that would come and He has been with me every step of the way.
I felt strongly to share my story because of the gratitude I felt for those when I was uneducated and grieving. I have since learned so many are silent and that what may be seen as bravery is part of my vow to God. So many like me are rising and we are becoming stronger together. God wants us to help and empathize with each other as an army with Him to fight the adversary.
Humility for me has been knowing who I am and still willing to ask God because He knows my potential perfectly. Then having the faith and courage to do what He asks.
With time and perspective I have a great story. This is MY book of life and I will be judged by mine alone. In my epilogue when God asks me “Do you love me?” I hope my story proves “Yes!”
