In Just 6 Years
6 years ago I was on a miracle trip with some of my closest friends at one of the darkest times in my life. It had been planned a few years prior and the timing couldn’t have been more divine.
Weeks previously I had found out my husband of 21 years had been living a double life in such hurtful and deceptive ways. We were separated and I was experiencing the PTSD effects of betrayal trauma. Not many people knew and I was caught in the embarrassment and shame of his choices with the consequences now falling on our family because of them. I looked forward to going and acting as if this wasn’t really my life.
But my friends knew me better than me trying to hide and “be normal.” After their concern I was able to share and they wept with me as they also felt betrayed. It was healing, empowering and so special. I felt so loved and encouraged to face what was still in front of me. It was an absolute tender mercy from God.
The months following came with more heartbreaks, lies and me bending over in unhealthy ways to fight for us until it was finally time to be done.
Fast forward to Mark and I visiting this same place 6 years later. It is a beautiful gift! We talk about how if we could have seen our lives now at those catastrophic moments we almost wouldn’t have believed it could be true.
We have wondered if we should thank each other’s exes for choosing other people, places and things or instead their people for being more what they wanted and how they desired to live so we could be with what is our better fit too?
Instead we thank God everyday for helping us finally find eachother. And we thank Him for knowing us better than we knew ourselves so that when we got an opportunity to choose for us that we could be in a marriage where we are more true to who we are, how we want to live and be. I love that we get to value each other extra after having had contrasting experiences. The gratitude we have because of knowing so differently is a blessing of our second marriage.
I am so sorry for those still in tragic places. Divorce is unfair but not a dead end. Your life may exceed in ways you could’ve never imagined.
In what ways have you seen God in your life through divorce?
