My October book club recommendation is “More Than A Body: Your Body Is An Instrument Not an Ornament” by Lindsay Kite PhD and Lexie Kite PhD.

I have wanted to share this for months but I have had to really pray for courage as this is one of the hardest posts to date. I know so many relate and I want you to know that you are not alone.

I first heard about this book at a retreat in a class about body image. With all my recovery work I thought I would be okay but instead I balled the entire time to the point of nausea. So many triggers!!

I have always been a taller girl and danced. My parents did an amazing job of fostering a healthy self body image including the appreciation for all that my body can help me do, accomplish, heal and create. I always wanted to take care of my body.

It was my marriage of 21 years that whittled away at that foundation I had formed. I saw the way he looked at other girls and it chipped away just a little. His lack of physical touch and his verbal cues early in our marriage led me to assume he wasn’t really attracted to me. This was reinforced time and time again as I wasn’t enough or what he really wanted. It was the constant elephant in the room. I was embarrassed and I believed it was my fault.

After my D day I debated about drastically changing my appearance to become more physically attractive to him so he’d choose me. But deep down I knew I couldn’t change enough and I really just wanted to be chosen for the person I was.

After divorce I learned how unhealthy our relationship was and how common my experience was to others married to an addict. Although it was validating it was also a painful acceptance of a way I lived not knowing any better.

“Lindsay and Lexie share powerful and practical advice that …helps readers develop body image resilience…they show how facing your feelings of body shame or embarrassment can become a catalyst for personal growth.”

What do you really feel about your body and why??

#betrayaltrauma#bodyimage#selfcare#abuse#divorce#infidelity#addiction#selfhelp#bodypositivity#shame#personalgrowth#selfreflection#emotionalabuse#verbalabuse#sexualabuse#unhealthyrelationships