Part of the unfairness in divorce was my loss in hope in ever finding someone again.

I wrote a letter after I had finally found the courage to end a relationship indefinitely despite the length of time I had invested or his incessant need to reach out. I knew he wasn’t the right one for me and part of my process of letting go was finding hope in the possibility of someone I didn’t really believe existed.

I had gone to lunch with single friends and went on a run. At the end I was in the shade stretching and listening to music when I wrote all these thoughts streaming in my head.

“Today I went on a run and wondered if you even exist. As I lay in the grass listening to music I knew I wanted to live in a way that would attract what I hoped would do the same. I laid my arms out in a T and on one side my left arm extended and with my hand I released my past relationships. I watched them float backwards farther and farther away with every outward breath. And to my right hand I turned to look to reach for your hand but instead I envisioned you finishing your run and lying on the grass mourning the loss of past relationships and what was the ideal and then simultaneously reaching for my hand on a patch of grass somewhere else. Also knowing you are a good person with a lot to give and share. Wanting to believe that God is mindful of you…and even me. And together our paths are parallel wondering where eachother is? And how in this big crazy world are we ever going to find eachother? But I’m working on me. I am working hard to be prepared to find you. And to have hope that you even exist. And that you are also working hard on you so we can be ready when we meet. If I believe in God then I know you are possible. So keep striving in life and making it possible for us to even be possible. I’m praying for you!! Pray for me too! And I promise…I will find you! ❤️”

I love my lens now of how mindful God was of us and that my husbands life has been running parallel to mine for a long time. It was in Gods timing that we met at the time that was just right for both of us. Meeting him has finally restored hope in so many uncertainties again.

Where do you find hope?

#hope