I can’t believe it’s been a year since we got engaged! I love how Mark and I share so many similarities in our stories.

We both fought for people that didn’t choose us. We both felt that there was a lot we were working to keep together in our marriages yet the people they had become after a series of hundreds of choices were not people we would ever even go on a date with being single. Who and what they were choosing was not what we were contending for. They lowered their bar where we were not willing to reciprocate.

The recognition in answering the question of “what am I really battling for?” was both discouraging and the motivation in making the decision to be the one to facilitate the divorce. Our devotion to protect them from their own destructive choices was no longer our responsibility.

Trusting in our own judgment post divorce was a difficult process having both experienced betrayal trauma. Dating again was uncomfortable yet a step in moving on.

We both entered in relationships that applied pressure towards marriage despite how confused we were feeling. We had to gather enough courage to end things knowing that it wasn’t right. They kept continuing to reach out and be persistent insisting our discernment was incorrect. We are both so thankful we stuck to our choice to move on without them.

These experiences helped us be prepared to meet each other. The timing and person was finally right and loving wasn’t complicated, confusing, or hard at all. It was so natural and easy. We both realized we really weren’t broken and our judgment really was right.

Our willingness to be vulnerable enough to marry again has been so worth it. We both look at what was once our hardest and darkest times with them leaving as one of our greatest blessings with grace from God. We would both go through what we did again a million times to be where we are today.

Divorce is not a dead end but a time for new beginnings. You are not damaged, you are healing. I’m a believer that good things are ahead for you. All hope for me was restored in Mark.