September Book Club: "Burn After Writing"

My September Book Club recommendation is “Burn After Writing” by Sharon Jones.

My client shared this with me and I love the concept. It is “a self-discovery book that encourages you the reader to ask yourself where you’ve come from, where you are now and ultimately just where you are going.” I love the prompts and inquisitive questions that challenge you to reflect and discover yourself.

I have always been an avid journal keeper but I recently went back and read some of my past entries. I noticed I was hedging how I was really feeling to protect the potential future readers from knowing the truth and what I worked hard to protect them from.

I remember clearly the first time I ever said out loud how I was really feeling. He had texted he wanted a divorce and I was surprised by it. I found a therapist and before we met I prayed for the courage to really say what was in my heart and soul because I really wanted to understand what was wrong with me and how I could be better. I was nauseated in my vulnerability anticipating my appointment.

My therapist greeted me with validation, clarification, confidence, tools and hope. I felt relieved in my honesty and the burden of hiding my notions was lifted.

She challenged me to take the next step in writing down all I shared. This was scarier because the thought of anyone finding and reading it was almost too much.

But I did it! And in it I included my suspicions of pornography use and that he was having an affair. I acknowledged how I didn’t feel he was attracted to me and that I was his very last priority.

Once I started, the list went on and on and it got easier to write. I cried as it just flowed out of me like a water spout finally released from years of pressure. In it there was so much relief in my grief.

I hid that list and intended to burn it because I never wanted anyone to ever know.

3 months later I found his work phone and the times I felt crazy were proven in that instant.

Now there is power to that list because although I felt so stupid for trusting and not knowing I also really did know. I didn’t have the proof but deep down in my secret soul I knew!

Are you honest in your own journal?

#bookclub #journal #selftherapy #selfcare #divorce #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery

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