Shielded By a Force Field
(Photo taken from Marvel.com)
I wasn’t prepared for the thick skin I would have to develop in a divorce. The reason for mine was his unwillingness to change in devastating circumstances yet still people want to know what side to take and feel like they can say whatever they feel…even if it is meant with the best of intentions. I am sad for those that endure the strong opinions and loss of relationships over divorce. People can be so cruel in an effort to protect one side. Through this I have had to learn how to hold onto my self worth.
I love the image of Captain Marvel creating a force field shield around her making her bulletproof. The problem is we are human and criticism of our weaknesses feels like an attack on our identity. So, I like to visualize myself shielded with a force field and bullets of personal attacks are flying at me but in slow motion. The bullets can’t hit me but I can see them from their delivery with less reaction and emotion. I know my truth and that some of the information can bring awareness. This way I can separate the attack from my worth and value. I give myself permission to protect myself.
I know that being married I was “one” with my partner and valued his opinion. Now I have had to separate myself knowing I can no longer look to him for validation. Not only has he not had the best interests of the kids and myself for a long time but proof from his choices also confirm to me he is not capable of providing accurate feedback because of his skewed and justified reality. He knew everything about me..my strengths and weaknesses and I once believed he was our protector. But now I have learned to rely on educated resources including therapy and through family and friends that I know unconditionally love me enough to help me see the truth.
I wish there were no sides to take in a divorce but somehow it changes everything no matter the circumstance. Why do we draw lines in the sand? Don’t both need support in a divorce? Unfortunately this is usually how it ends. For those struggling I encourage you to know your truth and self worth. Then give yourself permission to protect and defend yourself from the bullets.
(Photo taken from awwmemes.com)
