What does a porn addict look like? There is confusion that an addict is the creepy guy that never leaves the house and is on the computer all day long. But according to Operation Underground Railroad at ourrescue.org the people they arrest are religious, high functioning business professionals in our community and members of our own family.
In my faith there is a talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks I love about the traps of pornography and the different levels of involvement. It’s true we have and will ALL see porn. But does that make me an addict? He explains these levels:
1. Inadvertent Exposure
2. Occasional Use
3. Intensive Use
4. Compulsive Use (Addiction). This is where a persons “irresistible compulsion” then takes priority over almost everything else in life.
For our family he didn’t always have an addiction to porn although I now know it was present on and off our whole marriage. Although it was his secret to carry and deal with we didn’t know we were effected, like the emotional disconnect, until after the discovery. It wasn’t until the dopamine hit of the porn wasn’t enough the addiction came in where he made poor impulsive choices that created a harmful environment where we ended in divorce. Most times a porn addiction leads to a sex addiction, which again is misunderstood. It’s not always about the sex but the coping. Somehow it makes sense when we understand drug addiction because the two are very similar in behavior and escalation.
If you feel you need someone to talk to understand the betrayal trauma you feel…www.btr.org has amazing resources and podcasts available.