“What If?”

In my betrayal trauma and in working with others, the “what if” phrases are often considered but because they create a downward spiral they are also unproductive.

I have asked before…

What if I had caught him acting out earlier in our marriage?

What if the people that shared information with me after my D-day would have told me when things were happening or years earlier?

What if I had reacted better or differently with all discoveries along the way?

What if it had only been a porn problem?

What if I had never even met him?

And then on the flip side…

What if we were supposed to meet and be married?

What if I lost my mom early in my life to create a foundation and knowledge about the Atonement that would help me through the devastation of my discovery and divorce?

What if I am exactly the mom that my kids have always needed?

What if the darkest moments of my life would help me appreciate all the light and goodness that still exists around me?

What if I learned to sacrifice and fight harder to function than ever before and would recognize blessings of strength from all the angels in my life?

What if I would meet people in my new journey that would impact me in a way that I couldn’t imagine my life without them?

What if because of my divorce I have come to understand and feel pure joy?

What if I have found I can trust and love in a way I never thought I was capable?

What if my sorrows and heartache gave me empathy with a motivation to share my story so that I can help others?

What if I agreed to this before I came to Earth?

What if this has been my plan all along and God has been present with me every step of the way?

What if I am happier than I have ever believed was possible?

Are there “what if” statements you talk yourself through that could be flipped around to instead recognize the current goodness in your life that has come because of your trauma?

#blessings #BetrayalTrauma #Trust #Divorce #Rebirth #Addiction #Hope #Truth #Love #Trust #Light #emotionalabuse