I have wanted to share this for awhile but have hesitated because it is a triggering and personal topic. But after having many recent heartbreaking discussions with people, I feel it is finally time. 

Have you ever had to go and be tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) because of your partners secret choices?  

I am so sorry! The humiliation of feeling disposable, uncared for and having to explain why you are there is so demeaning. That and the total lack of respect or regard for your health from your partner that you thought was protecting you is so horrible. 

I want you to know that you are not alone. 

Some are told by their partner that it is their fault and they are the one sleeping around. Some actually believe this because they have already been so gaslit that although they KNOW it isn’t them, it still could be by their own carelessness. No, you can’t get HPV from a toilet seat. I feel for you that you are confused, hurt and seeking to find a truth that feels better than infidelity.

Some are told by their partner that they are now unlovable by any one else. This is so abusive. 

Some are wounded as they discovered infidelity through the STI and then their partner instead defends the mistress/mastress that gave it to them. AND, they continue to choose the person that infected them and why you have an STI. This is such a selfish, betraying and destructive behavior. I am so sorry! 

Some feel shame and embarrassment of having an STI they were given knowing it is now transferrable to someone else. This could prevent them from wanting to be in another relationship. The fact that you did not live in a way that this should be a discussion with a person you would want to have a future with is so unfair.

Some have effects that show up years later after the divorce. The injustice and anger that resurfaces because of the lack of respect that is still having an impact on you, even though you have not been with the perpetrator for years, is so injuring, tearful and cruel.

You are not alone!! I hurt for you because this is so private. I promise you can rise to the top. Huge hugs!

#infidelity#divorce#betrayaltrauma#hope#healing#selfcare#courage