One of the things I got to talk about at the Safe2Feel Conference was there are no bad emotions.

I loved the opportunity I had once to exercise and practice self care while in a boxing class. I had already settled in a good place personally but it felt so good to just go and hit the bag. I was surprised at the emotions that surfaced for me.

After everything came out I had a lot friends offer different ways to go and get the anger and frustration out. I feel I was too weak and defeated at the time so later was definitely a better timeline for me.

After I asked my now ex to move out, one of my children’s therapist encouraged me to execute an activity for my boys called the “mad bag.” Even though it felt unnecessary and uncomfortable with all their different ages I still proceeded one night. We were instructed to write all our feelings on little pieces of paper and put them in a paper bag. Then we balled up the bag and wrapped it in duct tape. The purpose was to take turns punching it in a way to outwardly express the healthy anger aspect of grief.

It didn’t take long before we turned it into a game of trying to see how many times we could keep it up before it touched the floor.

I recall some of the first sounds of genuine laughter since the discovery. Before the happiness seemed forced because of the confusion and sadness. This exercise catapulted us back to the enjoyment of life because of our laughter.

I have always known I had a choice to either laugh or cry. I know that crying has been a healing part of my PTSD from his betrayals. I have had moments I couldn’t wear my contacts and I couldn’t move from the floor because the weight of the hurt was too much. But on the opposite how good it feels to smile, laugh and be happy again!

I hope that in the times we feel isolated, overwhelmed, betrayed or hurt we can find laughter.

What outward expressions do you engage in to help exercise your need to cry and be angry?

#healing#emotions#anger#rage#hope#healing#selfcare#laughter#laughing#smile#exercise#happy#laugh#smile#selfhealing#hugs#betrayaltrauma#abuse#infidelity#divorce#remarriage