It is time to layer up! Not just with potential cold weather but with self worth and care, standing in your truth, trigger solutions and boundaries.

Make time for yourself, including sleep and exercise to buffer the more difficult situations that may arise. It only takes 20 minutes of moving to make a drastic difference in your day.

Know your truth, your value and your story.

Don’t let texts, emails or any other form of communication containing personal attacks, accusations, lies, their justifications, or the need to explain or convince you of their narrative be acceptable. Stand up for yourself and know you don’t have to respond to it. If this is a person you are forced to still interact with, keep yourself safe in an environment with people you trust. For me, I don’t trust or choose him and so his perspective of me or us holds zero personal value. Instead I skim over his thoughts and know he is just really hurting and I am the person he is choosing to take it out on. Because of what I know about myself and why we are divorced, his words are just words.

Be prepared what you will do if and when you get triggered. It can be conversations, smells, places, things, memories or songs. For me when I have a physical reaction to a trigger I acknowledge what my body is feeling and get curious. I allow myself to feel the hurt but only briefly. I tap my hand over my heart to bring me to my frontal lobe. Often I am just removing from the connection so it no longer includes him. For example, I will say, “That is just a bank. What he did was not okay and it was hurtful and betraying. But I am okay.”

Remind yourself of your boundaries and why they are set. Most often it’s the ones we have the boundaries set for that fight back and hate them the most, whether they know they exist or not. Don’t let someone alter your boundaries you have set for protection for yourself because they accuse you of being unchristlike, unforgiving, bitter, angry, unfriendly, mean or anything alike. Know that they are set because of a history where you needed to shield yourself from their harmful behavior.

In a repost quote from Hank Smith and @healingwithworth6, even Christ had boundaries.

Keep your mind clear and give energy to those you cherish and value the most. When you find your mind wandering, do those exercises to bring yourself back to focus on what you choose without any doubt.

I choose to turn towards my loving Heavenly Father and Mother, Christ, my children and family, my devoted partner and people that continue to add value and bless my life every single day.

What do you to enjoy this time of year? How do you keep it so positive?

#selfcare #boundaries #trauma