Triggers are an interesting concept. I had them before in my life but it didn’t really have a name or meaning for me to really figure out what it was. Now I have worked through identifying when I am triggered and how to process it in a healthy way.

Typically I acknowledge the feelings and emotions my body is communicating. I know there are no bad emotions. I tap my right hand over my heart to help bring me to my frontal lobe and then I allow myself a small window of acknowledgment to feel everything in that moment. Most often I talk to myself, either in my mind or out loud, to clarify the experience. I take the emotion or person out of what is triggering me. For example; I see a hotel in the valley that I now know he would meet prostitutes at. I instead tell myself…”That is just a hotel. What he did is horrible and it hurt me. What he did is not okay, but I am doing okay. It is going to be okay because that is just a hotel.”

Somehow this usually works for me for objects, places, sounds and smells. I am amazed at how time has given me healing and tools to move through things quicker too. I have learned to love and be tolerant with myself. I have to give myself the self care certain triggers require. I am always learning but doing incredibly better.

I recently stumbled upon my old phone during my first big D-day when I found his work phone. After the complete and total shock wore off I started taking hundreds of pictures of the multiple text conversations, pictures, call history and contacts. It gave me the hard evidence I needed at the time but I had forgotten how dark it all was to me even still until I was reminded of it recently again.

As I share my story, to me it’s sugar coated and just my account of the events. But there are still moments that I can’t believe this is really MY story! This really actually happened to me!!

As time passes and I am patient with myself I also alleviate the pain. I love reflecting now on how triggers that would completely knock me out are passed by within a few minutes. New information rarely has an effect on me either.

Do you get triggers? What do you do to help yourself through them?

#triggers #emotionalabuse