I remember the first time I experienced a vulnerability hangover. I didn’t know that’s what was happening but now I have experienced it several times and practice self care immediately after to prevent the “hangover” part of unearthing truth.

After my big D-Day I had a lot of shocking truth that I could barely wrap my mind around. At first I was so humiliated by his choices. I believed it was a big reflection of me and supported his narrative he wanted me to believe about him, us and myself. I wanted to just hide and bury it but I was also so done with all the lies.

As I began to share pieces to those that loved and supported me what was really happening, I saw their reactions of disturbance to my honesty and that was rough. They wanted answers I didn’t have and clarity I couldn’t offer.

I recall reaching out to some later, especially early on, to retract and withdraw facts to buffer and protect him and myself from the shame and embarrassment. The reality of his choices was even at times too much for me to comprehend. I kept experiencing my own traumatization as new information surfaced and it was very overwhelming.

In helping others we acknowledge their story. These are the hard truths and facts. Often because of years of emotional abuse and gaslighting the truth seems murky and unknown. And the victims lack the confidence in discerning their feelings because it has been suppressed with lies. With perspective our body and mind are honest with us we just trusted someone that didn’t protect us.

This was my experience as well. Once I was able to be away from his influence and state my story I got the education, support, resources and validation I needed. I knew I wasn’t crazy and that what he did really was that hurtful. To date I haven’t had a time that when I share my story with someone for the first time it isn’t accompanied with stupefaction.

What is your truth? What are the hard facts? Do you feel yourself hiding from the truth? Who can you safely share with out loud what your experience has been? What self care can you practice after you identify, acknowledge and share the truth?

#gaslighting #emotionalabuse #divorce #addiction #hope #vulnerabiltyhangover